You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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