How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
