that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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