the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
