You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
