Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
