Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize