it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So squirting runs in the family.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
