I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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