she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
