At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize