Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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