Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
