It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
