i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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