I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
