how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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