shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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