Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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