Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
