The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
