WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize