thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
