Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize