Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
