I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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