she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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