every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
