i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
