New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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