Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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