Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
