Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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