I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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