Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
