He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
