You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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