the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize