do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
