I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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