I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
