so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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