Jerry, you need to find god
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
