Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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