it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I party with great urgency now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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