What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
