i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
