You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
