i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
