just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Randomize
