no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
