we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
