Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
