if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
