BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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