Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize