before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
