Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
