I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
