I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
