When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Randomize