I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
